UFO Classified Ads and Reader Feedback

Services for hire! We also air out some of the better comments from our subscribers

We make no promises about the legitimacy of the claims advertised below.

We hear Linda was awarded “2019 Salesperson of the Year” for offloading one of “Art’s Parts” for a cool $35,000.

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Richard C. Hoagland hasn’t met an audience he couldn’t talk at for hours on end.

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We wonder if our credits from ‘Phil Schneider University’ will transfer cleanly?

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The camera of choice for practically every anomalous photo ever.

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John Greenewald’s been doing his thing for years - we’re talking wayyyy before Jeremy Corbell had that slick beard or sleeve tats!

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Contactee Lives Matter!

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Dear Observer,

Thanks for the free magazines. I love having paper versions of these stories. Can you send me a replacement though? I was reading the article about Lake Monsters in the last issue while relaxing on the beach and now my copy is all wet.

Marcus F., San Diego, CA

We’d be happy to send you a fresh copy for your archives, Marcus. Let us know if you ever spot anything strange swimming in the waves out your way! Speaking of "all wet," we received the following note from a disgruntled Midwestern reader…

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To Whom It May Concern:

The hit piece you wrote on Michael Hoffman’s newest book reveals a lot about the staff of your so-called magazine (Ed note: Books Your Parents Warned You About: Twilight Language, Issue #10). Instead of doing your own research you clearly relied on the internet rumor mill to reach your conclusions. I wonder, Can you even read at all??? You can cancel my subscription and refund my remaining fees.

Jeffrey S., Chicago, IL

As Marcus F. reminds us earlier, the zine is free, so there isn't anything to refund. We will give him our two-cents though. Last issue's review of Hoffman's book generated a lot of feedback on both sides of the fence. While we don't agree with his theories about race and religion, his work dives deeper into the esoteric world of Twilight Language and Revelation of the Method than most manuscripts available. It's called "Book Your Parents Warned You About" for a reason... reader beware!

P.S. The Michael Hoffman featured in this issue (“Walking in on ET’s Dinner Party”) is not the same 'Michael Hoffman' referenced above.

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Hi,

I just finished reading your piece about voice to skull technologies (Ed note: Hearing Microwaves, Issue #8). Thanks for the reminder to clean my microwave.

Anonymous, New Hampshire

Not really the point of the article, but we’re glad something resonated with you just the same!

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Do you print abductor stories?

Anonymous, Fairview Park, Ohio

We’re betting you meant abductee stories, but either way, we never considered printing a story from the abductor's point of view. It's a fresh take on the topic, but also sounds like accessory after the fact. Pass for now.

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Hello Observer,

Your zine is informative and fun and the articles are downright scholarly. Interesting to learn in your February issue that the author of “Disc Men of Jupiter” preceded Jordan Peele's speculation by almost a century (Ed note: Issue #9, Writing Off Saucers).

You've also inspired me to consider what I might be able to do along these lines. Creativity is the spice of life.

I do wish your articles were credited. I have no idea who to thank personally.

Thanks, thanks, thanks.

M.S., North Carolina

Thank you for the kind words, M.S.! You make an excellent comparison between the type of flying saucers depicted in the 1947 ‘Disc Men’ tale and the one seen more recently on the big-screen in Nope. We suspect you’ll find the piece in this issue about similar ufological precedents especially interesting (“Nope’s Phantom Flyer”).

As for your question about the authors of various articles in The Observer, we’re going to respond by channeling our inner Allen Iverson: ‘Bylines? We’re talking about bylines? Not an article… but bylines? Not the articles we go out there and write… but bylines! What are we talking about? We’re not talking about the actual articles, when it matters, we’re talking about bylines?!’

All joking aside, most stories are a group effort between a small team of contributors who would rather let the words stand on their own. We know many will disagree with this approach, but hey, the zine is free---and you get what you pay for!

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I remember when i first signed up you asked what conspiracy or paranormal things we were interested in. I just read about a study that said human beings minds are naturally able to control virtual reality avatars of unhuman creatures that have extra limbs and weird bodies. This got me thinking that maybe this ability was wired into our DNA by ancient aliens for the day we transform into a society of extraterrestrial hybrids with six arms and a tail.

Jesse, Lake Oswego, OR

So they're playing the long game, eh? We looked into it, and what Jesse is referring to is known as “homuncular flexibility,” or the brain’s ability to picture the body it inhabits in order to control its movements. Researchers found that people could quickly learn to operate more limbs than they’re used to—up to eight in one VR experiment—which speaks to the remarkable power and adaptability of the human mind.

Or it’s a sign we’ve been deliberately programmed to accept new bodies as part of an alien-human hybrid agenda.

Your guess is as good as ours!

The Observer is a zine that covers topics of high strangeness. Click the image below to request a free physical subscription!

Issue #11