Empty Bleachers: Tom DeLonge, Bigfoot, and UFO Betting Lines

This is where we rant to no one about things that probably don't matter

Tom DeLonge Keeps Emailing Me

Tom Delonge, musician and CEO of the entertainment company To The Stars, keeps emailing me. We aren’t that close, but he used to be in my ear all the time back in high school. He recently dropped me a line just to share some personal updates and to ask for a small favor.

He started by reminding me of his contributions to the UFO conversation—because of him, UFOs are in again. The meetings on Capitol Hill? Consistent media coverage? That was all Tom. He took credit for the current state of affairs in a recent interview with Steve-O, stating: “You know we did that… I did that… The hearings at Congress and the UAP Task Force … we started all of that.” It’s a good thing too! Without the efforts of his team, we might still be debating cases like the Travis Walton abduction or the Roswell UFO crash (oh, wait).

(In that same interview, DeLonge also claimed that he “figured out what’s going on” with the whole UFO business, and after “asking permission” from the government to publish his conclusions, he was allowed to write them into a fiction novel. He goes on to imply that he knows his theories hit the mark because officials didn’t say they weren’t accurate. Basically, Tom DeLonge approached politicians and military industrial complex members, told them what he thought was going on, and took their silence as a thumbs up. Blink once for yes, twice for no.)

After humbly establishing his bona fides, DeLonge cut to the chase—he needed money. His email amounted to a Trojan horse plea for investors to help him make a Bigfoot movie.

Sasquatch is ready for his close-up.

Honestly, we like this idea, as there haven’t been any blockbuster movies made about the mysteries surrounding Sasquatch. Despite admirable attempts, the Big Guy’s big screen depictions have left much to be desired. His Close Encounters moment is long overdue, and judging by the reaction to Nope, the public will be receptive to a well-told story involving supernatural elements.

Here’s our concern: none of To The Stars’ products are very good. The trailer for their newest project, Monsters of California, looks like one of those straight-to-Netflix fillers where the preview is way better than the movie (and the preview doesn’t even look that good, but hey, you can already buy officially branded t-shirts). TTS also owns the rights to an 11-year old film, Love, that isn’t destined to be a cult classic anytime soon, (but still has its own line of shirts and hoodies available for purchase).

Their other properties haven’t fared well either: Strange Times was slated for a TV show in 2018 that hasn’t premiered, the Poet Anderson trilogy hasn’t seen an installment in four years, and their History Channel foray, Unidentified, is already off the air.

If Tom and To the Stars are in the process of soliciting funds for a new venture, it might inspire more confidence if they follow through on their current slate of initiatives.

Tom DeLonge takes a lot of heat from the UFO community, but he seems to have genuine enthusiasm for the subject matter. From ‘leaked’ Navy UFO videos to meetings with lawmakers, his company has been influential in keeping the UFO momentum going in the mainstream over the last five years.

And who knows? Perhaps DeLonge is sitting on a cache of Bigfoot footage just waiting to be released with a watermark of his company’s logo stamped over top.

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The UFO Over/Under

After reading the latest language inserted in the ‘‘Intelligence Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2023,’’ we’re setting the odds for the number of UFOs that will be acknowledged in the government’s next public UFO report at 0.5. That’s because the new working definition of ‘UFO’ excludes things that are “positively identified as man-made.”

This clarification could mean that the Fed's re-re-re-rebranded UFO initiative (AATIP, UAPTF, AOISMG, AARO)—the awkwardly named Unidentified Aerospace-Undersea Phenomena Joint Program Office (UAPJPO)—is only responsible for investigating and responding to incidents involving nonhuman phenomena. Man-made objects will be routed to another federal agency for follow-up.

Betting the “over” in this scenario means that the UAPJPO only has to identify one measly UFO that isn’t man-made, but since official recognition of such an object would be tantamount to honest-to-goodness Disclosure, we don’t see that happening any time soon.

Spectators who were unimpressed with the length of the 2021 public UFO report likely ain’t seen nothin’ yet. While it acknowledged 144 incidents involving unexplained phenomena over a 17-year span (approximately 8.5 per year), that original report wasn’t beholden to the updated definition of UFOs as non-man-made objects. The new rules of engagement will dramatically tank that average, even as the pool of potential incidents is expected to increase in the wake of easier reporting processes and protections for whistle-blowers.

While these are positive developments, we’re simply betting that none of the cases that come to light will be definitively ID’d as a UFO per the government definition.

Our advice? Take the under.

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Issue #11